Sunday, May 17, 2015

MAY 17, 2015: IRAN - In one hand she holds a BIG ......





...hypodermic at least a foot long. 

The thing looks like a NASA rocket. She looks at my rolled up sleeve,  shakes the two up- raised fingers on the other hand, in the universal gesture of 'no, no, sweetheart, exactly what part of this don't you get?' flashes a tiny grin that telegraphs ' have I got a surprise for you', and aims her eyes downward at her preferred landing site on the moon. I unbuckle. She pulls.down the top of my shorts. And launches the hypo-rocket. I'll say this for her she has great aim, is  quick,  and painless. (Maybe I exaggerated the size of that hypo-rocket?) I buckle up, thank her, and leave thinking that in what is probably her first interaction with an American she gets mooned.

The reason for this cross-cultural mooning? A few days ago I woke up with what can most charitably  be described as a breathtakingly bad toothache in my left shoulder. Ibuprofen and local strong painkillers slipped right off it unnoticed. Ever resourceful Hossein found us a clinic where an English speaking doctor diagnosed 'neuro-muscular pain', and prescribed more powerful pain killers, topical cream,  the application of heat patches...and three injections of muscle relaxant. Thus my date with She Who Must Be Obeyed and her hypo-rocket. Doctor preferrs an MRI but we don't have the time for the evaluation, etc here inTabriz. If the pills, topical and moon landings don't work then we can take more action when we get to Shiraz.

The doctor's fee is 500,000 Rials (less than $18), all the med and the patch were 275,000 Rials ( less than $10). It costs 20,000 (0.75) to hit the moon with the rocket . Cheap.

Plus, I get to experience the quiet civility of an Iranian clinic waiting room. People are respectful of others. There is no complaining about the wait time. Men and.women sit mixed. Some older women are in full black, but their faces are exposed. A shift in the seat, a twist of cloth and jeans, slacks, tights, high heels, sneakers appear. The younger women dress as their sisters anywhere, perhaps more stylishly.  All have some version of the mandatory hijab, usually brightly colored and patterned and draped in creative lip service to the letter of the law.
Fathers hold and play with kids. Couples commiserate, heads close, hands clasped.  People nod and smile at us, doubling the wattage when they learn are Americans.

So, once again we churn butter out of s**t. The nurse I mooned may have another opinion.

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